I am creating this website to encourage men and boys to become nurses. But I am a merciless realist. And I do not want to encourage just anybody to become one. The job of nursing really is a bit of a calling and should come close to striking you as one. If your are male, and the very rare encouragement or dawning in your mind to nursing arises, you should probably have an ah-ha! moment. You know it’s right for you but may not know why. I’m gonna try to let you know.

     For a long time, and presently, the terminology used for us is somewhat disparagingly tossed out “You’re a male nurse.” At times this is a momentarily startled woman. (Men don’t say this for some reason.)                                                                                          

     Or get this: “Oh Doctor!?” (Any man in the hospital who has a stethoscope around his neck is a doctor right?) The typical male nurse (or murse for short) would state “no, I’m not a doctor.” The reply is always a very condescending “oh you’re just a nurse.” I’ve rallied myself long ago to promptly and confidently reply, “I’m not Just a doctor, I’m a Nurse!” And then the person always goes another more honest way- “Oh yes, my god, you do all the work, oh my dad was in the hospital and...” I pre-empt them now, I can foresee it all the time.  But I’ve been a nurse for 21 years.

     “A male nurse”- I guess it is fading a bit. But believe me it’s real. Just remember Greg Focker and Robert De Niro’s character in Meet the Parents. A male nurse- it just sounds queer. I don’t really mean to be queer, I just do it that way! Yeah I’m a nurse. You get over it. But if you’re sensitive, and you should be, it’s tired. It’s pervasive and insidious. Let it be known that I relate to and have a relation to male and female roles in our culture that is highly unusual and it affects me in many ways. I like to think of a less popular movie, Angels in America, and the more empowering  character Belize (Jeffrey Wright)who plays a nurse in a way that allows no game and no shame. And it’s hard to do. He’s got control! It’s not exactly common but there is nursing expertise and it is much deeper than commonly acknowledged. It is primarily learned by experience. Not in schools but in life and hospital wards. It is part common sense and attuned awareness to human needs and kindness. But not flaky kindness. Please be suspicious of the nurse who says, “Oh I just LOVE nursing.” Honestly they are sick in the head and have sub-acute denial of reality and their relationship to it. Now I don’t mind if one says “I have a love-hate relationship with nursing.” Trust that person OK?

     So if you’re a man and a nurse, you do kind of stand out. And that’s standing out on top of standing out already- nursing is valued in some way positively throughout society. There’s just a lot working against it to make it easy to survive in a thoroughly positive way. I think it’s the hardest job on the planet after coal mining. All I can really say is “Don’t Do IT!”